Saturday, January 19, 2013

Negative - Relief

I know I wasn't planning on testing until Tuesday, but last night after I inserted the progesterone gel, I got the most insane burning cramps. They lasted for an hour and were horrible. Then this morning after acupuncture, I noticed some spotting. Since my period would be due today or tomorrow I decided to test.

It was negative, and all I'm feeling right now is relief.

For a long time, every time we tried to get pregnant we did. In fact, on three different occasions, while we were taking pains to prevent pregnancy, I got pregnant. My RE told me I got pregnant too frequently and that they were probably all bad quality embryos, which was causing the miscarriages.

So in my head, I was thinking this cycle could go one of two ways: pregnant and live baby or pregnant and dead baby. I honestly wasn't thinking that we could try and NOT get pregnant. That, in fact, would be a GOOD thing because it would mean that whatever was causing the inflammation that was making all the crappy embryos stick is gone.

So to get signs that my period is starting coupled with a negative test is HUGE.

We talked about it and decided that if this had been another loss, we would have stopped - 9 is enough. Because this was nothing, however, we will try again this cycle. I have two more refills of prescriptions before I need a new referral and to see the RE again. If nothing happens during the next two cycles, or I have another loss, we will turn our attention to adoption or surrogacy.

A negative test = relief. Who knew?

2 comments:

  1. I'm glad you're feeling good about the result. I hope one of the next few cycles is the one that brings you your rainbow baby.

    Abiding with you.

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  2. Definitely a whole different perspective, but anything that gives you relief lady... is a good thing! I'm all for knowing that the next one, is going to stick!

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