Early Morning

It's 5am. The toddler is screeching from across the hall. I stumble out of bed, attend to him and go back to sleep.

It's 6am. The toddler is screeching from across the hall. I stumble out of bed, attend to him and try to get back to sleep.

Husband: What is this all about?

Me: He wanted his blanket spread out better.

Husband: Are you serious?

Me: This is why I need to have a second child. If I don't have another kid to spread my attention to, he's going to be a 40 year old man who still lives with his Mama.

Husband: Are you sure you won't be fanning and peeling grapes for two kids?

Me: What? No; everyone knows the second kid totally gets the shaft. Besides, I'll have half as much time for this bullshit.

Husband: You don't have enough time for this bullshit now.

Me: Ah, but I do. Besides, he's my only. I have to do it.

Husband: Uh-huh.

Me: 40 year old man who lives with his Mama. Promise me we'll have another.

Husband: Do I have a choice?

Me: Promise!

Husband: If it is in my power to do so, yes we will have another.

Me: Fine. Thank you.

Toddler: MaaaaaaaMaaaaaaa....

Me: Here we go again.