Thursday, March 7, 2013

The First Rule...

My husband and I have been finally been making a little progress in figuring out what our next step is going to be. Inspired by a comment left on a recent post, we've been scheduling 20 minute talks where we discuss what's going on. The key is that we only discuss it during those 20 minutes, which works for us on two levels:

My husband doesn't feel like I'm constantly bombarding him with information

I actually feel like he's listening

We've even started to joke about it, saying that the first rule of the 20 Minute Talk, is that you don't talk about the 20 Minute Talk. Even scheduling it has to be done in code.

Jokes aside, it really has helped us go forward.

We haven't made our final decision yet, but it looks like we are leaning toward surrogacy. Adoption is still on the table, but last night we spent our 20 minutes weighing the pros and cons of each, and we agreed that surrogacy came out slightly ahead. Strangely, it's my husband that won't take adoption off the table just yet, even though he's the one that is far more resistant to it.

The goal is to come to a final agreement by the end of the month, so that we can move forward with whichever plan it is come April. We recognize that no matter which way we go, we're looking at months of paperwork and meetings with lawyers, etc before we even get down to the nitty-gritty.

And I have to admit, as much as I'm pleased we're finally making some progress, I'm anxious to get going due to the looming timeline that exists just beyond our decision.

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

When It Rains...

One of the side effects of waiting this long to have a second child, is the constant wondering and daydreaming about what that second child will be like and how he or she will fit into the family. Because I am a worrier by nature, I have often pondered hypothetical situations where I needed to be with one child for some reason, and how, oh how would I balance it for the kid left behind?

I got a taste of that this weekend.

My son had been sick for several days. Coughing, fever, lethargic sick. But he woke up very slightly better Saturday morning. Better enough that we decided against taking him to urgent care, and planned to just stay at home for the day instead.

Fast forward an hour when my husband and I simultaneously noticed that the kitten was limping. Now, I make no apologies for excuses for the fact that Peep is my replacement baby. She is my BABY and I adore her.

So upon seeing that she was limping, I picked her up and flipped her over to look at her paw. My husband came over to see what it was and the two of us got a good look at her paw pad at the same time. There was a simultaneous gasp and mad dash for the phone to call the vet when we realized that all the skin on her paw was missing.

Now my son was still sick, but holding his own for the moment. We had no idea yet what had happened to Peep (turned out to be frost bite, of all things), but my parent's dog had had an accident that involved her paw pad, and she nearly lost her leg as a result. So I was in a blind panic driving her to the vet.

At one point, I remembered my son at home and it dawned on me that this must be what it's like to have two kids. You don't pick favorites, necessarily, but you go with the one that needs you the most at the moment.

Peep came home hopped up on pain killers and a cast on her leg up to her hip. She should be fine, provided we can make it one week without infection. It appears she fell asleep with her paw against a window overnight. The cold window froze the skin, and when she ran up the stairs, it ripped the dead skin right off. Horrifying, but she should keep her paw provided it doesn't get infected.

Later that day we wound up having to take my son to urgent care where it was discovered he had a double ear infection and bronchitis. I spent the rest of the weekend hovering over them both.

Strangely, this has all had little to no effect on my desire to add to our family.