Thursday, March 7, 2013

The First Rule...

My husband and I have been finally been making a little progress in figuring out what our next step is going to be. Inspired by a comment left on a recent post, we've been scheduling 20 minute talks where we discuss what's going on. The key is that we only discuss it during those 20 minutes, which works for us on two levels:

My husband doesn't feel like I'm constantly bombarding him with information

I actually feel like he's listening

We've even started to joke about it, saying that the first rule of the 20 Minute Talk, is that you don't talk about the 20 Minute Talk. Even scheduling it has to be done in code.

Jokes aside, it really has helped us go forward.

We haven't made our final decision yet, but it looks like we are leaning toward surrogacy. Adoption is still on the table, but last night we spent our 20 minutes weighing the pros and cons of each, and we agreed that surrogacy came out slightly ahead. Strangely, it's my husband that won't take adoption off the table just yet, even though he's the one that is far more resistant to it.

The goal is to come to a final agreement by the end of the month, so that we can move forward with whichever plan it is come April. We recognize that no matter which way we go, we're looking at months of paperwork and meetings with lawyers, etc before we even get down to the nitty-gritty.

And I have to admit, as much as I'm pleased we're finally making some progress, I'm anxious to get going due to the looming timeline that exists just beyond our decision.


  1. I think the 20 minutes talks are REALLY smart! I'm glad it has made these discussions easier for you two!

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